Jahzara’s Holiday Bliss and Emptiness

Every year, just as the Christmas holiday wraps up, and we prepare to welcome a New Year, I write about the stressful plague of seeking the perfect gifts for my loved ones. No one forces me, but I think the tradition has been imprinted on my soul where I feel its mandatory to follow suite…each and every year like clock work. I find myself enduring a sickening force of emptiness, yet I comply, and find the perfect gift for the loved ones that I often find myself buying gifts for throughout the year…especially for my offspring. He wants for nothing, and yet I feel compelled to spend bill money (because I procrastinate and don’t setup a Christmas account for December distribution) to make his illusion of Christmas full of satisfaction.

Every year, I have the same speech with my partner… my king. “Babe, do you think next year we should start a new tradition? Maybe draw names from a hat, and purchase only one gift?” The idea lasts briefly inside of a light bulb hovering over our clouded minds, and then with a blink of an eyelash, it disappears. And each year, we make the sacrifice to spend as if we’ve won the lottery.

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