Untamed Discoveries — Some movies that didn’t necessary catch my attention when they first appeared on the big screen, have now raised my carefully sculpted eyebrows when I binge watch through my streaming accounts. It’s normally on a Friday or Saturday night, when plans fall by the waist side, either because I was no longer interested…well, that’s really the only reason.
Just recently, I discovered “Wild“, starring Reese Witherspoon, which was based on a memoir of Cheryl Strayed. Now before I dive into the roller coaster ride of emotions I felt from this movie, let me say I often compared the similarities of this movie to another cinematic jewel I discovered called “Into the Wild“, an adaption of the true story of Christopher McCandless. Both movies had me at hello…just because there is something very daring, liberating, bold and sometimes, sexy, about a person deciding to pack up a few necessities and leave their cares and fears behind.
Wild captured my interest because I could first identify with the main character, Cheryl, just for being a woman. Cheryl had some deep seeded issues that needed to be worked out internally, that surfaced after the death of her mother, prompting a sabbatical from life. Her journey and process of puking up the emotional demons that held her hostage to living a life of self worth was intriguing, leaving me to watch intensely. Throughout Cheryl’s solo journey, I began to understand why she needed to discover herself, her voice and what she wanted out of life. She wasn’t necessarily running away from her life, but trying to reboot it — as her issues of a failed marriage due to drug addiction and promiscuity were revealed throughout lonesome hikes on unfamiliar terrain. I watched with intensity with an unnerving fear for her while she set up camp, and trotted alone in secluded segments of the earth. My greatest fear of being raped, repeatedly left me gripping my pearls as I anxiously watched Cheryl encounter the largest, burly looking men that turned out to be as kind as a chipmunk storing acorns for the winter; or thin, greasy haired men that seemed harmless but were looking for an opportunity to steal her supplies, water and a few raw pelvic thrusts in between poison oak and ivy.
Cheryl hiked and reflected alone on many paths with an uninterrupted level of peace, even with potential threats of unpredictable weather, hypothermia, dehydration, starvation and uninvited interaction from lurking strangers. It was like her spirit was fueling her with a level of trust for life and uncharted circumstances, that protected her from evil, leading her to meet great people that looked out for her as they were also on their own personal journey.
Into the Wild was very similar to Wild, though the main character Christopher McCandless, was a young male, who had recently graduated from college. Unlike many college graduates, one being my own experience, Christopher wasn’t excited about his accomplishment. He made his parents proud when receiving his degree, but he didn’t seem like he felt the world was at his fingertips and he didn’t crave success. The day after he graduated, he cleaned out his apartment, emptied his savings account and donated the money to a charity, burned his personal identification and his car…then set out on a journey, not for self discovery, but for freedom. He opted to free himself from corporate America, the rules of the world and his parent’s ideas that would shackle him into a life of misery. Christopher walked away with nothing but a backpack and hitchhiked along interstates and lived off the land. His story was compelling, and I soon felt like I was hitchhiking across the world with him, sleeping under the stars, and enjoying life without limitations. I became an emotional wreck towards the end of the movie, as Christopher’s journey ended because he didn’t have ample time to hunt a large animal and store it before the warm temperatures would spoil the meat. He didn’t have a lot of opportunities to hunt because winter was approaching and the wild animals were scarce — leaving him with limited options to survive through the winter. He fed on berries, water and nuts through the winter as he body deteriorated. As I watched, I tried to place myself in his shoes as he accepted his plight, and prepared for his death. I wept because I wasn’t sure I would be able to accept the end. But Christopher was in control of his destiny, which gave him peace. Months later, Christopher wrote his last journal entry, bundled up, laid down, and just as the sun broke through the wintry landscape, he took his last breath.
I envied Christopher because he knew in his early 20s what he wanted from life, and who he didn’t want to become. He was free on his own terms, and he controlled how he lived his life. I commended Cheryl’s willpower to face the world head on, in unfamiliar territory while surviving life without the control of others. Cheryl’s need for independence in her journey was for healing herself because of a tremendous loss, and Christopher’s need for independence was to take control over his life.
I wish I had the level of confidence in my 20s to free myself from the ideologies of parental, educational and business influences. Sometimes I wish I could embody that level of boldness to pick up and leave everything without following any rules. To become a rebel and refuse to pay for electricity, cable, gas, water, shelter and food. I question the existence of the fearlessness I used to have, and wonder if I could be as bold as Cheryl, and set out for a lonesome experience of reflection — but not necessarily hiking. Now I do know exactly who I am, and the outdoorsy type of woman I need to be to survive would be a miserable wreck carrying all of the hiking equipment, plus, different shoes, boots, coats, scarves, hats, lotions, deodorant, Vaseline, Blistex, hair scarves, oil sheen, hair grease, foundation and mascara. Of course I would have to have enough room for specific snacks, water bottles, liquor, wine, cocktail shaker, wine glasses — but in the wild I guess I would have to opt for the big red cups. There would be so much that I couldn’t leave behind.
So my journey would have to be something different, that ignited a level of confidence that would equate to the level of self validation on the terms of both Cheryl and Christopher. I would only opt for a weekend of self reflection packed with no rules, no noise and no conditions; but offer the comforts of shelter, heat, cool air and unlimited food and drinks. There would be space to shed the baggage of adult life that sometimes holds me hostage against my true self, and recreational time to explore all of earth’s offerings, while allowing my spirit to be free, Wild and Untamed.