Self Love

Blocks with letters

Do you love yourself? — I quietly whisper this question to people on the streets, in grocery stores, in retail stores, and most of all, neighbors in my hood. There is often disrespectful exchanges of dialogue between elders and youngins’, because the lack of respect has slowly dissolved with the desire for materials and currency.

Some stand idle and beg for attention, some share wisdom but not without a standard cursing out, and then there are the worker bees that walk with their heads pointed south to avoid contact. In the daily grind of routines and commute, no one smiles.

I wish we could go back to the days when communities stood together and watched over each other. Everyone paid attention to everyone’s kids and matriarchs of families spared change when ends couldn’t connect. The men stood together and protected not only their own, but together protected everyone in the village. The village was strong and the main ingredient that spilled over it was…Love.

Now some will read and disagree, but until we can identify and dismantle every issue that our community is faced with, we should be open to all ideas. We need to revisit the beginning when the rules were literally etched in stone which gave our ancestors precepts to follow and to be unified.

Love your neighbor as you love yourself.  I always remember those words. As a child, you don’t really think about words that you memorize, especially if the words were created into a rhythmic song; but some of those words eventually become part of your character development.

Our people, African-Americans were taught to love themselves, and our blackness. Self Love and Self Respect instilled in our people. We embraced our Honey, Chocolate, Caramel complexions and loved ourselves — which intuitively allowed us to love others, our neighbors as we loved ourselves. We breathed the teachings of our ancestors, and they imprinted self love into our blood. It was only three or four generations before now, but the self love gene has slowly dilapidated and is no longer the strongest chromosome in today’s gene pool.

The continuous deaths plaguing our communities by our own, and by the triggers of police have fueled the wheels in my head to turn nonstop, as I seek resolution. The other morning, as I was gearing up to run on the treadmill, hoping my mind would settle down and an idea would spark a creative revolution in my head. Suddenly one of the 10 Commandments popped in my head: Love your neighbor as yourself.” A moment of clarity hovered over me like a cloud with a pinch of sunlight. I guess until we can begin to love our neighbors, we must first begin to love ourselves. So my question is — Do you love yourself?

Before posing this question to the public, I looked at myself in the mirror and without hesitation whispered, “Yes.”

Now self love is different than being self-centered. If you’re self-centered, you’re too involved in what you want, how you look, how you dress and how you feel to be aware of the life of others around you. But self love is knowing that every verbal exchange and every physical appearance you disseminate into the world will have a direct effect on those around you.

If you can’t answer without hesitation, then you must ask yourself, why don’t you love yourself? Is it because loving yourself brings change? Sometimes we’re not up for the task to be the ONE to implement change?

Is loving yourself enough to ignite change?

I don’t think so…because with self awareness, love and respect comes Responsibility. Again, people don’t want to be responsible for anything too difficult, and in order to ignite change, you have to be responsible, committed and wholeheartedly love others as you love yourself.

I’m not perfect, and I know that the task is challenging, but I am up for the challenge. Wake up, practice self love — and be purposeful for yourself and thy neighbors.